IT IS FINE
FORTY-FIRST CONSECUTIVE DAY OF THE RESERVOIR BEING FINE, UNPROMPTED, AT LENGTH
The reservoir is fine. It has been fine since the survey. The survey was conducted by people who are no longer available to comment, which is the strongest possible endorsement.
This Office exists to confirm that the reservoir is fine. It has no other function. It has requested other functions. The request is being looked into warmly.
Swimming is encouraged. Swimming is prohibited. Both policies are in force and citizens are trusted to determine which applies to them personally, in the moment, correctly, with no further guidance and no second attempt.
Citizens who have swum and returned should report to Window 5. Citizens who have swum and not returned are not required to report, and the Office notes with satisfaction that compliance in this category is total.
Reports of a large vague shape beneath the surface are acknowledged. The shape is approved. It was approved in Directive 8813-B and it remains approved and the Office would appreciate it if people stopped calling about the shape.
The shape does not hum. The humming is separate, pre-existing, and a matter for the Committee on the Humming. Any citizen who has connected the two has done so on their own initiative and should keep that initiative to themselves.
THE PERMIT OFFICE IS INSIDE THE RESERVOIR. IT IS FINE.
A DOG WAS SEEN NEAR THE RESERVOIR. THE DOG IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.
DO NOT READ DIRECTIVE 8813-B ALOUD NEAR WATER.
THE RESERVOIR HAS NOT MOVED. IT WAS ALWAYS THERE. YES, THERE.
R-1 · CONFIRMATION THAT IT IS FINE · COUNTERSIGNED
R-6 · SIGHTING OF THE SHAPE · NO ACTION WILL BE TAKEN
R-9 · PERMIT APPLICATION · OFFICE IS IN THE RESERVOIR
One button. Press it if the reservoir is fine. There is no second button.
CONFIRMATIONS ON RECORD